You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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