Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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