His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
