I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
