This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
