Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
