I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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