dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
