He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
