i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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