no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
