Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
