remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
