I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
