once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
