Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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