he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
