You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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