May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
