It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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