Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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