She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
