haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
