Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
