I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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