I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
