return my video game
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
