let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
