shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
