oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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