I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
