If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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