Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
