he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
