I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
