Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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