nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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