I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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