the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
