Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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