walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
