The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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