I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
