If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
