Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
