I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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