if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
