i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize