I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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