actually, I'm a sock model
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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