your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
