My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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