We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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