Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
