it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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