I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
