Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
