would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
