some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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